Responding to a child's emotional outburst

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My {{age}}-year-old is upset about {{event}}. Behavior: {{details}}. Give me a response approach: (1) three things not to say and why, e.g. what 'that is nothing to cry about' actually teaches; (2) a four-step response — acknowledge the feeling, help name it, set the boundary that anger is fine but hitting is not, then solve it together; (3) three ways of phrasing suited to this age, since abstract language will not land; (4) what to do if I am also angry in the moment — handle myself first; (5) what the child may actually want underneath, usually attention or a sense of control.

孩子（{{年龄}}）因为 {{事件}} 闹情绪，情况：{{具体表现}}。请给我回应思路：1) 先说三句「不能说的话」及原因（比如「这有什么好哭的」会带来什么）；2) 给一段四步回应：承认情绪—帮他说出感受—设边界（可以生气但不能打人）—一起找办法；3) 给三个适合他这个年龄的表达方式（太抽象的他听不懂）；4) 说明如果我当时也在气头上，该怎么先处理自己；5) 指出这件事背后可能真正想要的是什么（通常是关注或掌控感）。